Scary

I know i haven't been blogging lately. I'm sorry to the visitors of my blog (if there's any).
I haven't been well lately, emotionally. But it's definitely affecting me physically.

I have been having scary thoughts that's very worrying. I keep seeing myself jumping off a building. I had the worst nightmare ever this Friday morning. I dreamt that I was knocked down by a vehicle just outside my office building. I still remember the dream vividly till now. I remembered seeing my "soul" leaving my body & was eventually looking over the bloody "me". I was startled by the dream at almost 230am on Friday morning, wide awake after I composed myself & told myself that it's only a dream. After that, I wasn't able to get to sleep.

I spoke to my pychologist friend about the dream. He said that I want to die sub-conciously, that's why I kept seeing such images and having that terrible dream. He mentioned that we don't usually remember our dreams that clearly. We might have been able to recall some details, but definitely not all of it. It's quite unusual that I remembered everything. The possible diagnosis he came up with was, either I am very stressed about my life or I'm really tired of living & want to end my life.

I don't know what to think now.