Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Idealogy vs Reality

It's the beginning of another boring week again.

Yesterday has got to be one of my lowest point in life. I was feeling so lousy at work and worthless. I wanted to leave the job so so much, you can't imagine. I felt like i was strangled by the politics in office & the hatred of my lady boss towards me. She was just god-damned biased towards those she favoured (whom don't deserve) and deprived me of the impartiality she should be showcasing.

I had wanted so badly to tender my resignation yesterday. I had the letter all typed out & kept it in my bag. I was hesitant to hand it out as I have alot to think about before i really really decide to quit my job. The financial strain would be drastic, i have my installment loans, insurance, bills to worry about. I'm not without a care in the world that i can just quit & be free from the clutches of that bitchy boss.

Anyway, alot of times; we are often cornered by the facets of reality. Ideally, we should be pursuing a career aligned with our interest. Realistically, it's often not the case; many of us are stuck in jobs we hate and can't wait to escape from.

There aren't many people i know whom are able to invest all their time and life in their area of interest & still able to make it their job. More often than not, they usually have to forgo/sacrifice their material comforts and risk social acceptance.

That's reality for you, both you and I go through it & ended up as victims of reality vs idealogy.

Saturday, June 19, 2004

The Road of Never-Ending Learning

I'm now sitting in the classroom of my Macromedia Dreamweaver (MMDW) lesson. Today's the last lesson of this level, i'm so happy & relieved to have reached where i am now.

I have learnt alot from this class & have definitely reaped rewards from it. Hopefully, the newly acquired skill would help me in getting a cushy job & enhancing the chances of me snagging a job in the media industry...haha! (can't wait for that to happen, man!)

I also have to say thanks to my friend, Lian. She was the one whom encouraged me to take up this course with her. We have been close since we finished our Adv Dip classes with MDIS last year. I'm both grateful & thankful to have a friend like her for motivation & guidance.

I guess all of us pick up new skills & techniques everyday, the world's revolving everyday; it doesn't stop & waits for you to catch up. Life is indeed short, make use of what you have & do what you want. Legally, of course.

Don't let yourself down, be true & not deprive yourself of what you wanna achieve in life; regrets are wasteful.

Friday, June 18, 2004

Do You Ever Wonder?

Times passes by so quickly, do you ever wonder what will happen tomorrow?

Life's so unpredictable, everything gets thrown at you for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes, i do wonder about the happenings in the world & how it would affect me or the community.

Yet, life can be so simple and we can make it through without much effort. However, not that many of us are that fortunate. We go to school in the rigid study environment, autocratic parents, pressure to excel & sometimes; inferiority sets in.

I remembered my ambitions when i was young, i aspired to be a doctor when i was in primary school. The thought of wearing a crisp white robe & being able to save lifes all felt so great at that time. Then came secondary school, the aspiration changed directions. I wanted to be a journalist/reporter, though i was rather strong in my languages, the education system then didn't allow you to enrol into an educational institute based on your language merits alone; you needed Maths/Science & Humanities. I'm hopeless in those subjects, barely passed during the Biggie Os! There's goes the aspiration again...

In the end, i settled for an engineering course; which i still find unbelievable when i think about it now. Which idiot would opt to study to be an engineer when they are hopelessly aimless with Maths & Science? I'm that IDIOT! As expected, my grades weren't that great; i gave it all up with a year left; another moronic move!

Then came worklife at the Social University, with only an 'O' level education to boast about at that time; i settled for a retail job. The hours were long & the pay was pathetic. But i was happy, with my other colleagues, we would sometimes get together for supper after we closed the shop at night. Those were the carefree days, no exams or tests to cram for & no pressure to excel, just make sure & pray hard that I do not offend a customer.

A year or so went by, I started feeling inadequate. I saw an ex-classmate of mine from the polytechnic while i was working. I suddenly felt so ashamed of myself, i wanted to hide & wished i was invisible. But alas, she saw me & i avoided eye contact with her. She didn't say a word when she saw me, but i knew that she definitely recognised me. Was she too ashamed to be associated with me? I wonder...

Now, with a quarter of the century gone; I'm proud to say that i have been able to fulfill some of the aspirations i harboured during my younger days. I have managed to attain higher education on the area of my interest, Mass Communications. Armed with the higher qualifications, i've begun looking for a job that will consume & exploit my interest in the industry. But, the big break hasn't arrive yet; at least for me.

Who says life is so predictable & all planned out for you by the Man up there? It is what you make out of life that matters the most. I forgot where/whom i heard the below phrase from, but i find it real meaningful & tries to live by it.

"You Only Live Once, Make it Worthwhile"

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Survey (???)

I promised Loony to put this on my Blog to see what he thinks about me....

[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you kiss me?
[11] Would you hug me?
[12] Are we close?
[13] Emotionally, what stands out?
[14] Do you wish I was cooler?
[15] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[16] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[17] Am I loveable?
[18] How long have you known me?
[19] Describe me in one word.
[20] What was your first impression?
[21] Do you still think that way about me now?
[22] What do you think my weakness is?
[23] Do you think I'll get married?
[24] What makes me happy?
[25] What makes me sad?
[26] What reminds you of me?
[27] Whats something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I could kill someone?
[32] Are you going to put this on your online journal and see what I say about you?
[33] What's something you love about me?